We have to find a use for vermin!
Seriously. We have to find a use for vermin! I am sick of them, Sick of every last one of them. And I have killed so many of them I do not know how many more I can kill. I have crushed the skulls and snapped the necks of every one of them I can get my hands on! And any of them I couldn’t get a hold of I have poisoned or trapped and starved to death! And I mean all of them! All of them, the rats, mice, roaches, snakes, wombats, squirrels, raccoons, opossums, and every other stinking animal pestilence that has ever been sent to carry disease into our homes. The stupid little vermin!
They try to get into my house all of the freaking time and I can’t stand it any longer. I am going to bait and lay so many freaking traps that there isn’t going to be a roach that doesn’t set off a rat trap! Unless I can find a way to start making these monsters do my bidding or at least find a use for them.
And it isn’t like they can help it. Stupid little, disgusting, parasitical, parasite ridden, property destroying monsters… They just want to nest in my walls for protection from the elements and feed off of my food, which is basically what I am doing myself. And if they are basically doing what I do in one respect, why can’t they do what I do in other respects, like be forced to turn a profit?
See so much of the problem is that killing these buggers just seems like such a waste. I mean, why kill something and dispose of its carcass when I could enslave it and use it‘s energies for my own profit? So much waste. And wherever there is waste there can be profit. If only I could find a use for the vermin why I could be rich.
But this isn’t just about money (although that SHOULD be good enough for anyone.) This is about reminding Mother Nature yet again who is in charge here! Here we have billions of organisms that we have been in contact with since creation and the best thing we have been able to conceive of doing with these foul things is to destroy them. What kind of masters and rulers over nature would we be if we could not bend every piece of our dominion to our will? And isn’t that what science is supposed to be used for, bending nature to our will?!
That’s it. We can find a use for vermin. NO!!! We MUST find a use for vermin! And not just as science experiments or the basis for cartoon characters anymore! Real, day-in-day-out, profitable, marketable, easily understood by a mass audience uses. Do you here me Science! We need our best minds on this today so I can claim royalties from the idea tomorrow!
Flibberdeegibbets! I’ll bet that all of the best Scientists are reading this now and are going to come up with all sorts of uses for vermin and take all of the credit for their hard work and my idea.
So lets see here…
Uses for vermin…
Uses…
Uses…
DANGABIT!! Se me next week!

-Bob

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Tags: animals, helping, money-making schemes, our enemy nature, science, shame, stuff bob hates, Vermin, weird

This entry was posted on Friday, June 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am and is filed under Blog/News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.