Post Thanksgiving Thoughts
Friday, November 27th, 2009-Slayer is not Death Metal. It is Thrash Metal. Why is this so freaking hard people!?!
-Hippies aren’t so bad. They are the spoiled children of the middle class and the rich and are just going through a phase. They are going to be successful anyways. So why begrudge them a self-imposed delayed start on life? Their stupidity only helps those of us whom the Man is trying to keep down with his psychic profiling and random police stops.
-Pie is so freaking awesome. It is so awesome that I have now won arguments with but one word, “Pie.”
-I had to vacuum a clean brick wall this week. Don’t ask. Just don’t. But that, surprisingly, is not terribly depressing. Thing is vacuuming a clean brick wall, while pointless, is far less demanding and stressful than vacuuming carpet. Probably because it is pointless. And the fact that something is only stress free because it is a futile waste of time is depressing.
-A bunch, and I mean a WHOLE LOT OF A BUNCH, of lady types did a bikini march for breast cancer awareness in South Africa. While I readily approve of the march both because it promotes stopping cancer and, even more, promotes where cancer can go, I still don’t get it. I am glad to finally see an “awareness raising event” that was actually related to something that it was trying to make people aware of. But what the heck do they mean by “raise awareness”?! What does that mean? And how does raising awareness do anything? Sure now more people know more about breast cancer (really now more people know more about where breast cancer lives) and I know that knowing is half the battle but big whup! Shouldn’t they be raising money for research or something? And if that is what is going on then why don’t they say it!
-Why aren’t there ever peasants at a Renaissance Fair? There should be tons of them! And a few traders, 15 priests, a handful of knights, like 3 lords, and 1 king. That’d be right. Instead there are like 38 pirates, 4 kings, 5-8 overweight belly dancers, 20 or more highlanders, and more lords and ladies than you could shake a stick at. For people who think they love post-Roman European society Ren Faire folks don’t seem to care about what post-Roman European society was actually like. The dunderheads.
-Dude. I really want some pie!
-So the Metal Monk is retiring. That sucks. But he is right. Metal is the best way to spread the Gospel! In case you hadn’t seen it yet:
-So it looks like Venezuela isn’t letting an international financial crisis get in the way of plastic surgery. Guess they are willing to admit that, like every other human, they are obsessed with their appearance. Good for them! Keep winning those Miss Universe titles I say! But it makes me worry. If everybody in Venezuela can freely use plastic surgery to look beautiful then pretty soon us beautiful types might start to intermingle with the uglies without our knowledge. In short order the beautiful people will be completely wiped out by fake beautiful people. Then everyone will always have to go to plastic surgeons all the time! The plastic surgeons will have a nation completely under their control and perpetual domination!
Genius.
-Bob
