I’m doing my laundry.
Today I write without the benefit of the internet.
I am the first person on Earth to do so in almost eight years. The last person to write while unable to access their email was Michel Creighton, who, despite her heroic attempts to pursue a writing career that was similar to the late world famous author only in its success and their names, managed to write and get published “A String of Events” a book that was eerily similar to “Timeline” in every respect, including dialogue, except that it was set not in medieval France but in a forgotten African amazonian city.
It was most likely due to her inability to access the internet and so be informed of the existence of her synonymous nemesis’s bestseller or the movie that was inspired by it.
Yet even though I do not have the power of the Wonder of 1998 to help me come up with ideas/distract me I am not completely bereft of comfort because I am at a laundromat.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how hypnotic the spinning of the washing machine is. The way the colors tumble and fade into each other, the way one article of clothing moves to the fore OUT OF NOWHERE at just the moment you think another will completely dominate the little circle of glass, the rhythmic sound of the slosh and tumble is all so fascinating that it makes me almost forget my outrage.
Where the heck is everybody!? It is empty here. That’d be nice but there is no scenery! Where are the chicks? Everytime I go to a laundromat it is completely talentless! Even when it is packed and everybody and their dog is doing laundry there are never any attractive women washing their clothes. There will be dozens of moms and grandmas and families tossing load after load of soiled clothes into the wash but there are never any cute young women at laundromats! Sure there may be single women pouring some fabric softener into the washer but it is obvious that they are single and will forever remain that way!
Do single hotties all have washers and dryers at home? Do they not have the need to do laundry? Does their cuteness get them invited to do their laundry in the homes of others? Do they simply have the money to always buy more new clothes and so avoid having to wash clothes? Is there some kinda beautiful people only laundromat I haven’t been told about?
Eh, no matter. If the honeys showed up here they’d probably be on red alert anyways. Still a pretty lady is always welcome.
I do wonder though why they don’t have these kinds of machines in homes. I just shoved all, ALL!, of my clothes into a machine and it washed them in 20 minutes! That kinda thing takes me like four loads and like an hour and a half usually! I wanna buy one of these things.
Crap! Gotta get these in the dryer.
-Bob
December 13th, 2009 at 4:37 am
Nice allusion to “Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote” by Borges.