Top Ten Things that Failed To Make Anyone Else’s Top Ten Lists Of The Last Ten Years
There are many pressing issues that must be discussed in today’s Boodachitaville blog even though I am passing out from ringing in the New Year as we speak. It is, after all, the first Boodachitaville blog of the New Year and it is incumbent on me to write a fairly formulaic blog that argues about the same things everyone else argues about, regardless of how tired I am, and then give you all some meaningless “top ten something or other” list. It is tradition. But, due to my exhaustion and the earliness of the hour I am going to sidestep the first requirement and try to get around the debate that is currently gripping the community of end of the year commentators. Namely the debate on whether this year begins a new decade or not. And I will do this by agreeing that while the second decade of the Twenty First Century will only begin in 2011, that this does mark the end of the Aughts and the beginning of the Teens. Therefore both sides are wrong for pursuing this argument and I can get on to the countdown.
The Top Ten Things That Failed to Make Anyone Else’s Top Ten List of the Last Ten Years.
10.)The death of over 3.5 billion people in the disaster of of Y2K. Widely under reported in order to keep hysteria to a minimum, the sudden loss in mankind’s strength and numbers due to a simple computer error is largely the cause for our new inability to bend nature to our will.
9.) Monster Trucks and their accompanying merchandise. Still the best way to watch cars in an arena get run over.
8.) Strawberries and cream fail to disappoint even after generations of Americans are raised on more complex treats. Why I could go for that simple delicious taste right now!
7.) The catastrophic rise in self published books. From wannabe novelists to children’s author teachers the publishing industry was able to stop bad writers and assorted weirdos from filling our bookshelves with their “books”. But now the Internet has destroy
ed our defenses against these hacks and schlock writers with the advent of on demand self-publishing. Now anything can get published! Certainly one of the worst Ten Events of the last decade.
6.) Dennis Kucinich, the Average Democrat and best candidate for that party in 2004/2008.
5.)The return of the cape and hood as a fashion accessory. Once worn only by little girls traveling through the forest with goodies for Grandmother the hood and cape has seen a resurgence amongst both urban professionals and working class punks alike. Expect to see it more again next summer.
4.)The fork’s continued dominance at the American table has remained unchallenged.
3.) People who say 2010 as “Two Thousand and Ten” and not “Twenty Ten” not only sound smarter, but actually are defenders of civilization and truth. Their subtle and elegant reminder of the true scope of and passing of time keeps everyone grounded in a reality that others would prefer to ignore.
2.) Parmesan cheese’s loss to bacon to become America’s favorite condiment was unexpected but easily accepted.
1.) The fact that things are pretty much the same as always. It is true. Despite advances in technology and changes in fashion the world is still pretty much rolling along the way it always has. People keep on living and doing what they always do. They work and strive and fight and love. They have kids and bully each other. They fight wars and complain about fighting wars. They complain about how things are always changing and how the young folks have no respect for anything. They steal and horde and use government to steal and horde for them. And media people keep saying how today is the worst day, week, year or decade ever so that they can sell more papers and be more jaded than everyone else. The real jadedness comes from knowing that human nature doesn’t change and no matter what you wish somebody for the New Year, most years wind up being about the same.
Alright. I guess that does covers it. Managed to talk about what everyone else is talking about and made a list of things. Can I now wish you all a Happy New Year and go to sleep?
Oh thank the Lord!
Happy New zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
-Bob
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