So guess what?
I am sick. TA-DA!!!
Man, seems like I have been sick during most of these blogs this last year. That is part of why I have tried to avoid talking about being sick; fear of repetition. Fear of repetition and because the more sick I feel the more prone I am to vomit onto the page some fever born stream of consciousness diatribe, which, although fun to experience writing, cheats all of us! Stream of consciousness is just a lazy man’s device to write something that appears to be deep and insightful but is really just the unstructured ramblings of a cluttered mind. No form. No structure. No theme or meme. Just words strung along without consequence until the words end.
Is that writing you should bother with reading?! NO!
Is that something that you should have to seek to make sense of?! NO!
Is it something that is really easy and self-gratifying to write when your mind is not entirely ordered?! Yes.
See when you get a fever and are unable to sleep your mind (cause I’ll bet your brain reacts just like mine) rattled by disease and cooked by your own body’s defenses, seeks to make sense of the delirium you are in, the way it pieces together bits of television you may have watched or actually be watching, memories from childhood and last week, melding it together into a horrifying, painful, reality defying, waking dream world. And that is kinda fun to put into words on paper.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t have even more fun with a distempered brain!
The key thing is to anticipate the causes of the discomforts that you will endure. It all depends on how you prep for the fever.
For example, if you want to have a pleasant fevered dream state. Then tune in some pleasant light classical music and surround yourself with nice things… like flowers or butterflies I guess… or something like that. You pansy. Your brain will grab up the light and joy and stuff as you lie in a sleep stealing fever and will weave the elements together to turn your waking hallucination into a nice pastoral pastiche.
Say you want to use any chance you get to let your latent anger spew forth like a mighty geyser of rage that no one can hold you accountable for? Well what you will want to do is to make sure to begin to dwell on all of the things people have done to you as soon as you start to feel bad. You’ll want to make sure your soon to be enfeebled brain to relate all of it’s suffering with the people around you. That way when you are living in a zombie-like state you will be on rage cruise control. Loading up on feminist writing and easy listening as sensory information to fill any gaps in your brain will help to fuel your rage also. Also make sure not to take any Vitamin C. First off it doesn’t do ANYTHING! EVER! How can it? Doritos have Vitamin C for crying out loud! How can it do anything? Starburst has Vitamin C! Second, don’t sick people always load up on vitamin C?! Healthy people don’t load up on Vitamin C! Don’t let anyone give any to you! Especially if you want to be angry and delirious. That way you have both a reason to be angry with people and a reason that people will think is so nuts that they have to forgive you for what you are saying.
My favorite thing to do when I am so fried by disease is to make me think I live in a frenzied slapstick world of amazing and weird characters. So as the chills start to grab a hold of me so hard that I can’t stop shaking I just turn the TV to a channel where I can watch zany fun cartoons like Spongebob Squarepants and Frasier. Next thing you know, my head is still pounding and I still can’t breathe but darn it if that lanky yellow dog doesn’t keep tickling me with his nose fingers!
Look there he comes now. Hi!

-Bob

Share and Enjoy!: